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Addressing
Protocol
The inner envelope with its invitation is
placed in the mailing or "outer" envelope (which has a
gummed flap). The outer envelope is normally addressed by hand or by using
our unique digital calligraphy service. The address is primarily centered
neatly with the guest name and address on the front. Your return address
would be printed on the flap side at the top in the center. For any
of these addresses, never, ever use address labels.
The first line of the address is the title line where the guest name
appears. Formal first names should always be used (i.e. Robert as
opposed to Bob). A second title line may be used for another guest name,
otherwise it contains the street address or post office box. The third
line contains the City and State. The zip code can be included on
this line or centered on a fourth line. If an apartment or building
number cannot fit on the street address line, an additional line can be
added between the street address and city/state line for an apartment or
building number which should be preceded by the words
"Apartment" or "Building". Abbreviations should
be avoided. The words Post Office Box, Street, Avenue, Drive,
etc. and East, West, North and South should be spelled out as well as the name of the city and state. Single
digit street numbers should be spelled out (i.e. One, Two, Three...
etc.). Street Names that are numbers can be written two ways - 94
East 4th Street or 94 East Fourth Street. Unless your envelopes are
unusually large, it is a good idea to not exceed 5 lines in your address
as they tend to start looking a bit messy with any additional
lines.
We may ask you a short series of
questions upon receiving your address list to establish your addressing guidelines
prior to beginning work and recommend some items that you may or may not
want to change.
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Titles
Everyone has a title. In the case of
such titles as, Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr., abbreviations can and should be used. Use Mr., Mrs., Ms.
and Miss accordingly. In the case of judges (Honorable), the
clergy (Reverend, Rabbi, etc.), political figures (Governor,
Mayor, etc.), and
those in the military (Lieutenant, General, etc.), we strongly
suggest using the full title but abbreviations are also accepted for these
(Sen. John Doe, Hon. John Doe, Prof. John
Doe, and Brig. Gen. John Doe). For retired high ranking
individuals in the military, the title should appear as Gen.
(Ret.) John Doe.
Married couples should be addressed
as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Should the wife have retained her
single name after marriage or if she uses a hyphenated last name the address should read Mr. John Doe and
Mrs. Jane Smith or Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe. If
you are addressing a married couple and want to use both of
their first names, the husbands name must be kept next
to the surname, for example: Mrs. Gloria and Mr.
Howard Jones.
Use a comma before Sr. or Jr. as Mr. John Doe, Jr.
Do not use a comma before the roman numerals II or III
when it follows a name. The name should read Mr. John Doe III.
In some cases, when a script typeface is used, the capital
letter "I" does not look like the roman numeral
One. Therefore, it is preferred to write it out as Mr.
John Doe the Third or eliminate the suffix all together.
Always spell out Reverend and Honorable when
preceded by "The" as in The Reverend John Doe or The Reverend Father
John Doe. Abbreviate Rev. and Hon. when used with a persons
FULL name as Hon. John Doe. Never use The Rev. Doe or Rev. Doe.
Spell out Rabbi as in Rabbi David Mark Feldman. The inside envelopes
may be less formal by using Father John or Rabbi Feldman.
When both husband and wife are identically degreed,
use Drs. Jane and John Doe or The Doctors Doe (remembering
that the husbands first name must be placed next to the
surname). In the case of a
married couple and the wife is a doctor the title should read Dr. Jane Doe
and Mr. John Doe or Dr. Jane and Mr. John Doe. If the husband is the doctor, the correct title
would be Dr. and Mrs. John Doe. Individuals with a PhD. are
not generally noted in formal addressing unless they are a
medical doctor, in which case Dr. is used.
In a dual title, use Reverend Dr. John Doe
or Honorable Dr. John Doe. On the inside envelope,
use Reverend Doe or The Honorable John Doe, omitting the Dr.
title.
A final word on Titles, if you are
having an informal affair it is perfectly acceptable to omit the titles
all together and just use first names, such as Jane and John Doe.
The correct format for this is to list the wife's name first
with the husband's name next to the surname. The word "and" should be spelled
out unless you are using a calligraphy script that contains a lovely
flourished ampersand (&).
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Children
The names of
children may be omitted from the outside envelope if an inner envelope is
used. If no inner envelope is being used, you can use the
second line of the address on the outer envelope for children's
names. The words "and Family" should not be used on the
outer envelope but is acceptable for the inner envelope.
It is not necessary
to use titles for the children's names and they may read John, Jr. and
Jennifer Jones on the second line. If titles are used for
children: Boys should be addressed either as Mr. or Master; Girls
addressed as Miss (do not use a period after the title of Miss, it is not
an abbreviation). Multiple sons may be
addressed as Messrs. (Messrs. Peter and Paul Doe). Multiple
daughters may be addressed as Misses (Misses Susan and Shelia Doe).
Miss is generally used for single girls under the age of 18, using Ms. for
those 18 and over. Master is generally used for boys under the age
of 13.
Names of children should appear in the order of their ages, the oldest first. Children of guests that are eighteen
years of age or older should receive separately addressed invitations.
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Unmarried
Couples Living Together
Unmarried couples, living together can be written
as Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith on one line. Alternatively, the "and" may be omitted
and the the second name can be placed on a separate line. The person with the closest
relationship to the sender should appear first. If both persons have
an equal relationship to the sender the names should be placed
alphabetically by last name.
Should the wife have retained her
single name after marriage or if she uses a hyphenated last name the address should read Mr. John Doe and
Mrs. Jane Smith or Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe.
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Single
/ Widowed Persons
In the case of single females, a good rule of thumb
is to use Miss for those under the age of 18 and if they have never been
married. Use Ms. for those who are 18 or over or are divorced or
separated. Mrs. is used for those who are widowed, you may use their
own first name or their husbands first name along with her married
last name, but the best bet is to try and use what the
individual prefers to be called. In some circles it is preferable for a widow to use her
maiden name in place of her first name and then her married name as in Mrs.
Smith Doe. In the case
of those who are divorced use their own first name, not the
former husband's first name even though they retain their married last
name, such as Mrs. Jane Doe or Ms. Jane Doe.
You may wish to extend an invitation to a single guest
to bring a guest of their own.
Whether you choose to or not is entirely up to you, but outside envelopes
should not say "and Guest". This should be printed on the
inside envelope. Should no inside envelope be used, and you know
that a particular single guest would like to bring someone, it is advisable
to take the time to find out the guest's name.
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International
Addresses
For
advice on the correct format of international addresses we use
an internet service called "Universal
Postal Union Resources".
Formats for most countries can be found here. To check
the formats yourself, you can visit the site by clicking on
the link above.
Invitations
that are made out to addresses outside of the US generally
require additional postage. We will flag these envelopes
within your order, so that they will be easy to separate from
those requiring regular postage. Keep in mind also that
the RSVP envelope with US postage on it will not be correct
for most international addresses, since theses guests will
most likely not be mailing them back to you from the United
States. There is an alternative means around this
problem. The US Postal Service sells a certificate in
which you can include with your international invitations to
cover the cost of your RSVP postage in alternate
countries. The last time we checked, these were called
"Union Postales" and were $1.85 each.
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Inside
Envelopes
The guest name is placed in the center
of the face side of the inner envelope. It should be written as
either "Mr. and Mrs. Jones" or "Mr. and Mrs.
Jones, Jack
and Jill" (unlike the outer or mailing envelope which would be
"Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones"). It is also acceptable to use family or
first names on the inside envelopes in cases where the recipients
are close friends or family (i.e. Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill, or Jill
and Jack Jones, or simply Jill and Jack.) Do not include the address on the
inner envelope. If you are inviting children, their names should appear on the inner envelope and in the order of their ages, the oldest first.
The way you write the guest's name on the inner
envelope generally indicates your preference for the number of people in
that guest's party. If you want to invite the children, put their names on
the inner envelope. It is acceptable to use "and Family" on the
inner envelope, when the individual children's names are not known. If your guests have children and their names are not on the inner
envelope, it should be understood that they are not invited.
Regarding certain titles, such as
members of the clergy or military ranks, see the above "Titles"
section on how to handle the inside envelope.
Singles
In the case of a single person where you are
inviting them to bring a guest, the inside envelope may say "Mary
Jane and Guest" or "Mary Jane and Escort". If
you know the name of the person's guest, it is so much nicer to use that.
Guest's will feel more welcome when they see their own name in print.
Two single persons that reside together should be addressed "James Jones and
Jane Smith" or "James and Jane", the person with the closest
relationship to the sender should appear first. If both persons have
an equal relationship to the sender, the names should be placed
alphabetically.
No Inside
Envelope Used
If you are not using an inner envelope, the way you
write the guest's name on the outer envelope generally indicates your
preference for the number of people in that guest's party. For example,
"Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones" means husband and wife but no
children. Do not address the outer envelope as "Mr. and Mrs. Jack
Jones and Family. If you are not using an inner envelope, the outer
envelope should include individual names. (i.e., "Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones"
on the first line and "Melanie and Michael Jones" or
"Miss Melanie and Mr. Michael Jones" or "Messrs.
John and James Jones" on the second.) their names should appear in the order of their ages, the oldest first.
Another
idea for invitations without an inner envelope is to use
tags. The entire enclosure of the invitation could be
neatly tied with ribbon, raffia or colorful string and
attaching a tag to it with the inner envelope information
printed on it.
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Mailing
Four to six weeks before the event (not the
RSVP date) is the
general rule for mailing your invitations to ensure your guests receive
their invitations and are able to respond with sufficient time. If you
have guests traveling from out of town or if a holiday falls in between
the mailing date and your event date, invitations should be mailed
6-8 weeks prior. The RSVP date should be one or two weeks prior to when
you must notify your caterer of a head count.
Save
the date cards can be sent when a confirmed date has been set
and is especially useful for destination weddings when more
extensive planning for travel is required.
Prior to shipping all of your
invitations, consider putting a complete assembly together and having it weighed and
sized at the post office to determine proper postage. Do not forget to
place a stamp on the Response Card envelope before sealing the outer
envelope. Any envelope weighing over 1 oz., or having an irregular
shape (perfect square, etc) or extremely large size
invitations require extra postage, as well as invitations being sent out
of the country. It is best to check with your postal service to
determine the correct charges before mailing. It is terribly frustrating
and costly to have a beautifully addressed invitation returned to you just
because it did not have the correct postage. For RSVP postage to
international addresses see "Response
Card" information below.
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How
to Assemble
Start with the main invitation facing upward.
Layer your map, reception card*, and any other items other
than the RSVP card on the invitation face up. Place the RSVP
card face up under the flap of its corresponding stamped envelope and place this,
with the flap side facing upward atop the other small items.
If your Invitation is enclosed in an
"inner" envelope it should be placed into inner envelope in the
same way as above. The inner envelope is then placed into the outer
envelope so that the the flap side of the inner envelope faces the front
of the outer envelope. The inner envelope
normally does not have a gummed flap for sealing. You may leave the flap
as is, tuck it inside the envelope or place a paper or wax seal on
it.
Tissue papers
are many times included in your stationery order. The purpose of the
tissue paper was to protect the ink from smudging onto other surfaces in
your invitation when they were handwritten. Since most invitation printing today is done well in advance
of assembly of the invitations, the use of the tissue is optional.
But if you would like to use it, a sheet of tissue
paper may placed on top of your printed invitation before placing the
assorted small items on top of it.
For
clarification, see graphic below:
*Many
brides ask if a separate reception card is necessary, and couldn't the
reception information be placed directly on the invitation.
According to most experts, this is a no, no. Since the reception is
a separate event from the ceremony and usually takes place at a different
venue. However, it makes sense that if your reception follows your
ceremony at the same location, that the information could be printed on
the invitation with wording such as "Reception immediately following
ceremony".
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Response
Card (RSVP)
The Response Card or RSVP is
an item included with your invitation that is used by your guests to let
you know if they will be attending your event. The response card envelope is
usually commercially printed
with the name and address of the person or persons issuing the invitation
and they are pre-stamped with the appropriate postage. If you
are counting pennies for your event, you can save a little on postage if
your RSVP is printed on a postcard.
United States postage for the RSVP envelope
on invitations with international addresses
should not be used since the recipient will not be mailing their
RSVP in the US. The US Postal Service offers a
certificate that enables the recipient of your invitation to
obtain the proper postage from their country's postal service
for the RSVP return envelope. This certificate should be
placed under the flap of the RSVP envelope along with the RSVP
card before being enclosed in the outer envelope. Click
here for more information about international addresses.
It is not uncommon for guests to forget to fill in the response card
before returning it to you. Since this happens from time to time, it
might be a good idea to pencil in a small number
on the reverse side of the card. This number would correspond to a number on your guest
list, which in turn would enable you to identify who it is from should
they have forgotten to fill it in.
It is acceptable to place a phone number
or e-mail address on the
invitation to receive responses via the telephone or internet. Although your guests can call in their RSVP, this is
sometimes impractical, considering how busy you might be at this time. However, the world is a very accommodating place
these days. There are several RSVP services that you can find on the
internet that will take these calls, 24 hours a day, everyday, and they
can even phone guests who have not responded in time for a nominal fee.
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Thank
You Notes
Thank you notes are used to thank
your guests for any gifts or favors you received from them.
Thank you note envelopes, normally supplied with the
note cards, can be addressed by hand or computer, and even labels
are acceptable to use, but the notes
themselves should be handwritten. The return address should have
your new name and address printed on the flap so that your guests will
have it for future reference.
Thank you notes should be sent out
within a month after you receive the gift or favor. It is sometimes
a good idea to have these envelopes addressed at the same time that you
have your invitations addressed, saving you time later.
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Announcements
Announcements are normally sent out
the day of your wedding to people you have not invited primarily due to
their inability to attend. They usually are very similar to your
invitation but are worded slightly differently. Address the envelope as you would for the
invitation.
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Save
the Date
Save the date cards are an early
announcement of your wedding to notify invited guests to keep the date
open for your very special event. Envelopes for Save the Date cards
can be informally addressed are are usually mailed out as soon as a
wedding date has been set and confirmed, usually several months before you
send out your invitations.
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Escort
or Place Cards
What exactly is the difference
between an escort card and a place card?
An Escort
card is any type of card that is placed at the reception (usually near
the entry way) in order to direct a guest to his or her table. It
may be enclosed in an envelope, be a tag tied to a favor, or a tented
card. It would include the guests' name and the table
where they have been assigned. Usually escort cards are arranged
on a reception table in alphabetical
order, in rows that are short enough for guests to scan through easily to
find their table assignment. It is a good idea to make separate
escort cards for couples with different last names so that they can be
easily alphabetized. Highlighting or enlarging the surname or
grouping by the first letter of
the surname helps to make the search even easier.
A Place card is any type of
card that is placed at the exact seat at a table where the guest has been
assigned. These may be tented, tied to a favor, written on the back
of your dinner menu, or any number of various clever ways. This card
does not have a table number printed on it.
At formal affairs, both cards may be
used. An Escort card may be used alone without using a place
card. Using a place card alone, is usually reserved for smaller
affairs where the guest can easily spot their card at a table setting
without needing to be directed to a table.
Both Escort and Place cards may be
addressed formally (Mr. and Mrs. John Doe) or informally (Jane
and John Doe) depending on the type of affair.
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Special
Guests
Although we cannot
guarantee a response, we've heard through the grapevine that you can
invite some notable people to your affair and receive a delightful
surprise. If you would like an envelope addressed to any one of
these individuals, just add them to your address list.
**********
The first address is for the President of the United
States. It's said that you will receive a letter of congratulations from
the President and First Lady, suitable for framing. We have two addresses
for this, either should work:
President and Mrs. George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, District of Columbia 20500
or
The White House
Attn: Scheduling Office
Washington, District of Columbia 20502
inside
envelope:
Mr.
President and The First Lady
Next,
you might receive a papal
blessing by sending an invitation to the Pope. His address
is:
Pope
Benedict XVI
Prefettura della Casa Pontifica
00120 Citta del Vaticano, Italia
inside
envelope:
His
Holiness
It's said that the Queen of England might send her
regrets if she receives an invitation. Her address is:
The Secretary to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Buckingham Palace
London, England SW1A 1AA
inside
envelope:
Her
Majesty
We do hope you will receive a memory to treasure as a
result of at least one of these addresses should you choose to include
them in your address list.
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