Addressing Protocol

The inner envelope with its invitation is placed in the mailing or "outer" envelope (which has a gummed flap). The outer envelope is normally addressed by hand or by using our unique digital calligraphy service. The address is primarily centered neatly with the guest name and address on the front. Your return address would be printed on the flap side at the top in the center.  For any of these addresses, never, ever use address labels.

The first line of the address is the title line where the guest name appears.  Formal first names should always be used (i.e. Robert as opposed to Bob). 

A second title line may be used for another guest name, otherwise it contains the street address or post office box.

The third line contains the City and State.  The zip code can be included on this line or centered on a fourth line.  The extended 4 digit zip code (i.e. - 14043-0304) should not be used in formal invitation addressing.  This format is generally used for business correspondence. 

Abbreviations should be avoided.  If an apartment or building number cannot fit on the street address line, an additional line can be added between the street address and city/state line for an apartment or building number which should be preceded by the words "Apartment" or "Building".  The words Post Office Box, Street, Avenue, Drive, etc. and  East, West, Northeast, Southeast, etc. should be spelled out as well as the name of the city and state.  

Single digit street numbers should be spelled out (i.e. One, Two, Three... etc.).  Street Names that are numbers can be written two ways - 94 East 54th Street or 94 East Fifty-fourth Street (note on double digit street names the first number is capitalized, the second number is not, with a hyphen between them).  We generally will spell out single and double digit street number names unless you specifically indicate that you do not want it that way, or if the envelope size prohibits this. Triple digit street numbers (i.e. 105th Street) will be left numeric.

 Unless your envelopes are unusually large, it is a good idea to not exceed 5 lines in your address as they tend to start looking a bit messy with any additional lines.  

Formatting for international addresses may be slightly different than those within the United States.  Please refer to our International Addressing section for more information.

We may ask you a short series of questions upon receiving your address list to establish your addressing guidelines prior to beginning work and recommend some items that you may or may not want to change.  

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Titles

Everyone has a title. In the case of  such titles as, Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr., abbreviations  can and should be used. Use Mr., Mrs., Ms. and Miss accordingly. In the case of judges (Honorable),  the clergy (Reverend, Rabbi, etc.),  political figures (Governor, Mayor, Senator, etc.), and those in the military (Lieutenant, General, etc.), we strongly suggest using the full title but abbreviations are also acceptable for some that may tend to get very long (The Honorable Rev. John Doe, The Reverend Dr. John Doe, and Brig. General and Mrs. John Doe).  For retired high ranking individuals in the military, the title should appear as General (Ret.) John Doe.  FYI - 'Miss' is not an abbreviation and does not require a period after it.

Married couples should be addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  Should the wife have retained her maiden name after marriage or if she uses a hyphenated last name the address should read Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe  or Ms. Jane Smith-Doe and Mr. John Doe (Mrs. is not used when a wife uses her maiden name, either alone or hyphenated).  If you are addressing a married couple and want to use both of their first names, the husbands name must be kept next to the surname, for example:  Mrs. Gloria and Mr. Howard Jones or Mrs. Gloria Jones and Mr. Howard Jones (the following format is incorrect because the word "and" in this context is redundant  --  Mr. and Mrs. Gloria and Howard Jones). 

When both husband and wife are identically degreed, use Drs. Jane and John Doe or The Doctors Doe (remembering that the husbands first name must be placed next to the surname).  In the case of a married couple and the wife is a doctor the title should read Dr. Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe or Dr. Jane and Mr. John Doe.  If the husband is the doctor, the correct format would be Dr. and Mrs. John Doe.  Individuals with a PhD. are not generally noted in formal addressing unless they are a medical doctor, in which case Dr. is used.  If the wife of a doctor is retaining her maiden name and she is NOT a doctor herself, the degreed name is placed first;  Dr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith or Dr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Smith-Doe (Mrs. is not used when a wife uses her maiden name, either alone or hyphenated).

Always spell out Reverend and Honorable when preceded by "The" as in The Reverend John Doe or The Honorable John Doe. Couples would be addressed as The Honorable and Mrs. John Doe.  If the wife holds the title, it should be listed as it would for a Doctor (The Honorable Jane Doe and Mr. John Doe).   Never use The Rev. Doe or Rev. Doe in any circumstance.  Spell out Rabbi as in Rabbi David Mark Feldman.  The inside envelopes may be less formal by using Father John or Rabbi Feldman.

In a dual titles use  Reverend Dr. John Doe or The Honorable Dr. John Doe on the outer envelope. On the inside envelope, use only one title: Reverend Doe or Dr. Doe which ever is used most commonly by that person.

Use a comma before Sr. or Jr. as Mr. John Doe, Jr.  Do not use a comma before the roman numerals II or III when it follows a name. The name should read Mr. John Doe III.  In some cases, when a script typeface is used, the capital letter "I" does not look like the roman numeral one,  therefore, it is preferred to write it out as Mr. John Doe the Third or eliminate the suffix all together.

Attorneys are not designated with Esquire (Esq.) after their names on formal invitations.  This suffix is only used for business correspondence. Use Mr. or Mrs., etc. for formal invitations.

A final word on titles... if you are having an informal affair it is perfectly acceptable to omit the titles all together and just use first names, such as Jane and John Doe.  The correct format for this is to list the wife's name first with the husband's name next to the surname.  The word "and" should be spelled out unless you are using a calligraphy script that contains a lovely flourished ampersand (&).

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Children

The names of children may be omitted from the outside envelope if an inner envelope is used.  If no inner envelope is being used, you can use the second line of the address on the outer envelope to include children's names.  The words "and Family" should not be used on the outer envelope but is acceptable for the inner envelope. For alternatives to using "and Family" see the Single / Widowed Persons section below for suggestions under "and Guest" scenario.

It is not necessary to use titles for the children's names and they may read John, Jr. and Jennifer Jones on the second line.  If titles are used for children: Boys should be addressed either as Mr. or Master;  Girls addressed as Miss (do not use a period after the title of Miss, it is not an abbreviation).  Multiple sons may be addressed as Messrs. (Messrs. Peter and Paul Doe).  Multiple daughters may be addressed as Misses (Misses Susan and Shelia Doe).  Miss is generally used for single girls under the age of 18 who have never been married, and Ms. for those 18 and over.  Master is generally used for boys under the age of 13.

Names of children should appear in the order of their ages, the oldest first. Children of guests that are eighteen years of age or older should receive separately addressed invitations.  

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Unmarried Couples Living Together

Unmarried couples, living together can be written as Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith on one line. Alternatively, the 'and' may be omitted and the second name can be placed on a separate line: 

The person with the closest relationship to the sender should appear first.  If both persons have an equal relationship to the sender the names should be placed alphabetically by last name.  

For same sex partners, single or married, the above format should be followed (Mr. John Doe and Mr. James Smith).

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Single / Widowed Women

In the case of single females, a good rule of thumb is to use Miss for those under the age of 18 and if they have never been married.  Use Ms. for those who are 18 or over or are divorced or separated.  For widowed women, you may use either their own first name with Ms. (Ms. Jane Smith) or their husbands first name along with her married last name (Mrs. John Smith), but your best bet is to try and use what the individual prefers to be called.  In some circles it is preferable for a widow to use her maiden name in place of her first name and then her married name as in Mrs. Smith Doe.  In the case of women who are divorced and are still using their married last name, use their own first name, not the former husband's first name, such as  Ms. Jane Doe.

"and Guest" or "and Family"

You may wish to extend an invitation to a single guest to bring a guest of their own. Whether you choose to or not is entirely up to you, but outside envelopes should not say "and Guest".  This should be printed on the inside envelope.  Should no inside envelope be used and you know that a particular single guest would like to bring someone, it is advisable to take the time to find out the guest's name.  We realize that getting this information can be somewhat tedious, so here are some creative alternatives to using "and Guest" on the outer envelope:

• Fill-in the RSVP card with the guests name along with the words "and Guest"
• Bundle your invitation and contents with a ribbon and tag or a belly belt that has the guest name printed on it with the words "and Guest" prior to placing it into your outer envelope. 

These suggestions can also be applied to the "and Family" scenario.  Lastly.... since we are not the addressing police and if you absolutely want to have "and Guest"  or "and Family" on the outer envelope, we will advise of alternatives, but you have the last word... if you want it, we will do it.

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International Addresses

For advice on the correct format of international addresses we use an internet service called "Universal Postal Union Resources".  Formats for most countries can be found here.  To check the formats yourself, you can visit the site by clicking on the link above. 

Invitations that are made out to addresses outside of the US generally require additional postage.  We will flag these envelopes within your order, so that they will be easy to separate from those requiring regular postage.  Keep in mind that the RSVP envelope with US postage on it will not be correct for most international addresses, since these guests will most likely not be mailing them back to you from the United States.  There is an alternative means around this problem...  The US Postal Service sells a certificate in which you can include with your international invitations to cover the cost of your RSVP return postage in alternate countries.  The last time we checked, these were called "Union Postales" and were $1.85 each.  These would be placed beneath the RSVP card, tucked under the RSVP envelope flap.

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Inside Envelopes

The guest name is placed in the center of the face side of the inner envelope. It should be written as either "Mr. and Mrs. Jones" or "Mr. and Mrs. Jones, Jack and Jill" (unlike the outer or mailing envelope which would be "Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones"). It is also acceptable to use family or first names  on the inside envelopes in cases where the recipients are close friends or family (i.e. Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill, or Jill and Jack Jones, or simply Jill and Jack.)  Do not include the address on the inner envelope. If you are inviting children, their names should appear on the inner envelope and  in the order of their ages, the oldest first. 

The way you write the guest's name on the inner envelope generally indicates your preference for the number of people in that guest's party. If you want to invite the children, put their names on the inner envelope.  It is acceptable to use "and Family" on the inner envelope, when the individual children's names are not known.  If your guests have children and their names are not on the inner envelope, it should be understood that they are not invited.  

Regarding certain titles, such as members of the clergy or military ranks, see the above "Titles" section on how to handle the inside envelope.

Singles

In the case of a single person where you are inviting them to bring a guest, the inside envelope may say "Mary Jane and Guest" or "Mary Jane and Escort".  The latter, 'and Escort' is considered to be old fashioned or even politically incorrect, in which case it is preferred to use 'and Guest'.  If you know the name of the person's guest, we suggest that you use that instead of 'and Guest' as it feels more welcoming to see their own name in print.  

Two single persons that reside together should be addressed "James Jones and Jane Smith" or "James and Jane", the person with the closest relationship to the sender should appear first.  If both persons have an equal relationship to the sender, the names should be placed alphabetically.

No Inside Envelope Used

If you are not using an inner envelope, the way you write the guest's name on the outer envelope generally indicates your preference for the number of people in that guest's party. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones" means husband and wife but no children. Do not address the outer envelope as "Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones and Family.  If you are not using an inner envelope, the outer envelope should include individual names. (i.e., "Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones" on the first line and "Melanie and Michael Jones" or "Miss Melanie and Mr. Michael Jones" or "Messrs. John and James Jones" on the second.) their names should appear in the order of their ages, the oldest first. 

Some creative alternatives to using "and Guest" or "and Family" on the outer envelope:

• Fill-in the RSVP card with the guests name along with the words "and Guest" or "and Family"
• Bundle your invitation and contents with a string or ribbon and a tag or use a belly belt that has the guest name printed on it with the words "and Guest" prior to placing it into your outer envelope. 

sample of a tag string tied around the inner contents

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Mailing

Four to six weeks before the event (not the RSVP date) is the general rule for mailing your invitations to ensure your guests receive their invitations and are able to respond with sufficient time. If you have guests traveling from out of town or if a holiday falls in between the mailing date and your event date, invitations should be mailed 6-8 weeks prior.  The RSVP date should be one or two weeks prior to when you must notify your caterer of a head count.  

Save the date cards can be sent when a confirmed date has been set and is especially useful for destination weddings when more extensive planning for travel is required.

Prior to shipping all of your invitations, consider putting a complete assembly together and having it weighed and sized at the post office to determine proper postage.  Do not forget to place a stamp on the Response Card envelope before sealing the outer envelope.  Any envelope weighing over 1 oz., or having an irregular shape (perfect square, etc) or extremely large size invitations require extra postage, as well as invitations being sent out of the country.  It is best to check with your postal service to determine the correct charges before mailing. It is terribly frustrating and costly to have a beautifully addressed invitation returned to you just because it did not have the correct postage.  For RSVP postage to international addresses see "Response Card" information below.

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How to Assemble

Start with the main invitation facing upward.  Layer your map, reception card*, hotel information and any other items other than the RSVP card on the invitation face up.   Place the RSVP card face up under the flap of its corresponding stamped envelope and place this, with the flap side facing upward atop the other small items. 

If your Invitation is enclosed in an "inner" envelope it should be placed into inner envelope in the same way as above.  The inner envelope is then placed into the outer envelope so that the flap side of the inner envelope faces the front of the outer envelope.   The inner envelope normally does not have a gummed flap for sealing. You may leave the flap as is,  tuck it inside the envelope or place a paper or wax seal on it. 

 Tissue papers are many times included in your stationery order.  The purpose of the tissue paper was to protect the ink from smudging onto other surfaces in your invitation when they were handwritten.  Since most invitation printing today is done well in advance of assembly of the invitations, the use of the tissue is optional.  But if you would like to use it, a sheet of tissue paper may placed on top of your printed invitation before placing the assorted small items on top of it.  

To ensure safe delivery of your invitations, make sure your return address is written or printed on the flap of the outer envelope. This way, any invitations with incorrect or undeliverable addresses will be returned to you promptly.

For clarification, see graphics and steps below:

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1. Fold the invitation along the score lines, if needed. If the invitation is a flat card, no folding is
   necessary.  If your invitation is a "booklet" where the type would be inside the booklet, the following steps would also be applied, but the smaller pieces would be placed inside the booklet on top of the tissue if used.

2. Place tissue over the invitation lettering (optional).  Try to center the tissue over the lettering and card.

3. If you do not have any enclosure cards (RSVP, map or reception cards)  insert invitation, face up into the inner (un-gummed) envelope. You may leave this flap as is, tuck it inside or close it with a paper or wax seal.  The same layering would apply to using pochettes rather than inside envelopes.  Some pochettes have slots (or pockets) for your various items and they should be inserted accordingly.

4. Enclosure cards (reception,  map, hotel information cards) should lay on top of the tissue inside the invitation face up.  The RSVP card should be face up and tucked under its corresponding envelope flap (don't forget to place a postage stamp on this envelope) and place this on top of the other smaller items with the flap side up.  The stack should then be placed into the inner (un-gummed) envelope face up.  If no inner envelope is used, place this stack directly into your outer envelope.

5. Inner envelopes (un-gummed) are addressed with names only (no street address, Names may be formal or informal and may contain "and Guest", "and Family", names of children, etc.) and are inserted into the corresponding addressed outer envelope. The names on the inner envelope should face the back (flap side) of the outer envelope.  Prior to mailing, be sure to check with your local post office for the correct postage needed by bringing in a sample assembly for them to assess for size and weight.  International addresses will require additional postage.  Seal, Stamp and Send!  
   

Response Card (RSVP)

The Response Card or RSVP is an item included with your invitation that is used by your guests to let you know if they will be attending your event.  The response card envelope is usually commercially printed with the name and address of the person or persons issuing the invitation and they are pre-stamped with the appropriate postage.  If you are counting pennies for your event, you can save a little on postage if your RSVP is printed on a postcard.  

United States postage for the RSVP envelope on invitations with international addresses should not be used since the recipient will most likely not be mailing their RSVP in the US.  The US Postal Service offers a certificate that enables the recipient of your invitation to obtain the proper postage from their country's postal service for the RSVP return envelope.  This certificate should be placed under the RSVP card, tucked under the flap of the RSVP envelope before being enclosed in the outer envelope.  Click here for more information about postage for international addresses.

It is not uncommon for guests to forget to fill in the response card before returning it to you.  Since this happens from time to time, it might be a good idea to pencil in a small number on the reverse side of the card.  This number would correspond to a number on your guest list, which in turn would enable you to identify who it is from should they have forgotten to fill it in.  You could also pre-fill in the RSVP card with the Guests name which could also double as an indicator as to whom is invited -- "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Family", when an inside envelope is not being used.

It is acceptable to place a phone number or e-mail address on the RSVP card  to receive responses via the telephone or internet.  Although your guests can call in their RSVP, this is sometimes impractical, considering how busy you might be at this time.  However, the world is a very accommodating place these days.  There are several RSVP services that you can find on the internet that will take these calls, 24 hours a day, everyday, and they can even phone guests who have not responded in time for a nominal fee.  

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Thank You Notes

Thank you notes are used to thank your guests for any gifts or favors you have received from them. 

 Thank you note envelopes, normally supplied with the note cards,  can be addressed by hand or computer, and even labels are acceptable to use, but the notes themselves should be handwritten.  The return address should have your new name and address printed on the flap so that your guests will have it for future reference. 

Thank you notes should be sent out within a month after you receive the gift or favor.  It is sometimes a good idea to have these envelopes addressed at the same time that you have your invitations addressed, saving you time later.

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Announcements

Announcements are normally sent out the day of your wedding to people you have not invited primarily due to their inability to attend.  They usually are very similar to your invitation but are worded slightly differently.  Address the envelope as you would for the invitation.  

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Save the Date

Save the date cards are an early announcement of your wedding to notify invited guests to keep the date open for your very special event.  These are especially useful if you are planning a destination wedding or have many guests that are out of town.  Save the Dates enable your guests to plan early enough to make travel arrangements if necessary and can contain useful information on airports, hotel accommodations and tourist attractions while they are visiting.  You may also want to use these to mention any additional information regarding special activities you've planned (i.e. - a welcome brunch or cocktail party, next day farewell breakfast, a shuttle tour of your city, etc.)  

Envelopes for Save the Date cards can be informally addressed and are usually mailed out as soon as a wedding date has been set and confirmed, usually several months before you send out your invitations.

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Escort or Place Cards

What exactly is the difference between an escort card and a place card?  

An Escort card is any type of card that is placed at the reception (usually near the entry way) in order to direct a guest to his or her table.  It may be enclosed in an envelope, be a tag tied to a favor, or a tented card.  It would include the guests' name and the table where they have been assigned.  Usually escort cards are arranged on a reception table in alphabetical order, in rows that are short enough for guests to scan through easily to find their table assignment.  It is a good idea to make separate escort cards for couples with different last names so that they can be easily alphabetized. Highlighting or enlarging the surname or grouping by the first letter of the surname helps to make the search even easier.  

A Place card is any type of card that is placed at the exact seat at a table where the guest has been assigned.  These may be tented, tied to a favor, written on the back of your dinner menu, or any number of various clever ways.  This card does not have a table number printed on it.

At formal affairs, both cards may be used.  An Escort card may be used alone without using a place card.  Using a place card alone, is usually reserved for smaller affairs where the guest can easily spot their card at a table setting without needing to be directed to a table.

Both Escort and Place cards may be addressed formally (Mr. and Mrs. John Doe) or informally (Jane and John Doe) depending on the type of affair.

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Special Guests

Although we cannot guarantee a response, we've heard through the grapevine that if you invite some of these notable people to your affair you just may receive a delightful surprise. 

If you would like an envelope addressed to any one of these individuals, just add them to your address list.

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This first address is for the President of the United States. It's said that you will receive a letter of congratulations from the President and First Lady, suitable for framing. We have two addresses for this, either should work:

President and Mrs. Barack Obama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, District of Columbia 20500

or 

The White House
Attn: Scheduling Office
Washington, District of Columbia 20502

inside envelope:

Mr. President and The First Lady

The next person on our list is the Pope.  You just might receive a papal blessing by sending an invitation him.  His address is:  

Pope Francis I
Prefettura della Casa Pontifica
00120 Citta del Vaticano, Italia

inside envelope:

His Holiness

It's said that the Queen of England might send her regrets if she receives an invitation. Her address is:

The Secretary to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Buckingham Palace
London, England  SW1A 1AA

inside envelope:

Her Majesty

 

We do hope you will receive a memory to treasure as a result of at least one of these addresses should you choose to include them in your address list.